Miscellaneous funny, nice, happy, uplifting stuff.

A man is sitting at the bar completely shitfaced when he pukes down of the front of his shirt.“Oh, my God! Oh, my God!”, he slurs, “My wife is gonna kill me!”The bartender, seeing the man in distress steps over and asks what the problem is.“You, you, you…don't understand. My, my, my wife just bought me this shirt and it’s very, very, very expensive.”The bartender, having some expertise in this area, asks the man if he has a $10 bill. He says that he does, and the bartender continues.“Here's what you do. You take that $10 and put it in your shirt pocket. When your wife asks what happened, that's when you take out the $10 and explain to her the guy next to you threw up on you and gave you the money to get it dry cleaned.The man staggers home and sure enough, the wife is waiting for him at the door and, noticing the chunkage running down her husband's shirt is, as predicted, indeed pissed.The man launches into his pre-rehearsed speech,“Wait, wait…this wasn't my fault. I can explaaain…” At this point he pulls two $10 dollar bills out of his pocket and waves them at his wife before continuing.“It was the guy next to me. It's his puke and he gave me $10 to get it dry cleaned.The wife almost went for it but asked him about the other $10 bill.“Oh, that", he replied, “He also took a shit in my pants!”
 
For you, @LordSensei1958

I was doing a bit of research on a local castle and came across an excavation report, dating back to the early 1900's, which mentioned the finding of a cemetery within the castle's walls. One of the skeletons they exhumed was, they deduced from its length and robust appearance, was of someone of high status but, and this is really strange, another person's skull was embedded in the skeleton's torso.

Intrigued, obviously, I delved into all my books and notes and trawled the internet to see if any more information could be found. Eventually, in Swansea University's library I came across a Victorian book entitled 'A History Of Carmarthenshire Castles' and found an account of a siege that occurred in 1201.

It said that the eldest son of the Norman lord who held the castle was killed when one of the besiegers loaded his trebuchet with the only missile to hand, the head of a peasant executed for stealing food the day before. By an amazing fluke the young man was hit and killed by his shot!

This is believed to be the first recorded case, anywhere in the world, of the use of a serf face to heir missile.
 
Lord Chevy said:
For you, @LordSensei1958

I was doing a bit of research on a local castle and came across an excavation report, dating back to the early 1900's, which mentioned the finding of a cemetery within the castle's walls. One of the skeletons they exhumed was, they deduced from its length and robust appearance, was of someone of high status but, and this is really strange, another person's skull was embedded in the skeleton's torso.

Intrigued, obviously, I delved into all my books and notes and trawled the internet to see if any more information could be found. Eventually, in Swansea University's library I came across a Victorian book entitled 'A History Of Carmarthenshire Castles' and found an account of a siege that occurred in 1201.

It said that the eldest son of the Norman lord who held the castle was killed when one of the besiegers loaded his trebuchet with the only missile to hand, the head of a peasant executed for stealing food the day before. By an amazing fluke the young man was hit and killed by his shot!

This is believed to be the first recorded case, anywhere in the world, of the use of a serf face to heir missile.
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