Miscellaneous funny, nice, happy, uplifting stuff.
- Thread starter HSanders
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HSanders
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Grandma’s Boyfriend… A 5-year-old girl went to visit her grandma one day. While she played with her dolls, Grandma was dusting the furniture.At one point, the little girl looked up and asked:“Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?”Grandma smiled and said:“Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I sit in my room and watch it all day. The TV evangelists keep me company and lift my spirits. The comedies make me laugh. I’m perfectly happy with my TV as my boyfriend.”Just then, the picture went fuzzy. Grandma began adjusting the knobs and thumping the back of the TV in frustration, trying to fix it.At that moment, the doorbell rang. The little girl ran to answer it.Standing there was Grandma’s minister.“Hello, young lady. Is your grandma home?”The little girl replied:“Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.” The minister fainted.
HSanders
Well-known member
Sophia had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian girl living under the watchful eye of her mother, she remained a virgin up until she and her husband took their wedding vows.
On their wedding night, the newlyweds stayed at her mother's house and Sophia was nervous.
Her mother said,, "Don't worry so much Sophia, Federico's a good man. Go upstairs, he'll take good care of you.”
When she got upstairs Federico had already taken off his shirt and his hairy chest was in full view.
Sophia ran back downstairs to her mother and cried out, "Mama, Mama, Federico's got a big hairy chest!"
"Don't worry so much, Sophia!” Her mother repeated. "All good men have hairy chests. Federico's a good man. Go upstairs, he'll take good care of you…"
When she got upstairs, Federico had already taken off his pants and his hairy legs were in full view.
Again, Sophia ran downstairs to her mother and cried out, "Mama, Mama, Federico took off his pants and he's got big hairy legs!"
"Don't worry so much, Sophia,” her mother said again.. "All good men have hairy legs. Federico's a good man. Go upstairs, he'll take good care of you…"
When she got upstairs, Federico had already taken off his socks, and much to her surprise he was missing three toes on his left foot.
When Sophia saw this, she ran downstairs and cried out, "Mama, Mama, Federico's got a foot and a half!"
Her mother put down the wooden spoon and said,
"Stay here and stir the pasta sauce, Sophia, this is a job for Mama…"
On their wedding night, the newlyweds stayed at her mother's house and Sophia was nervous.
Her mother said,, "Don't worry so much Sophia, Federico's a good man. Go upstairs, he'll take good care of you.”
When she got upstairs Federico had already taken off his shirt and his hairy chest was in full view.
Sophia ran back downstairs to her mother and cried out, "Mama, Mama, Federico's got a big hairy chest!"
"Don't worry so much, Sophia!” Her mother repeated. "All good men have hairy chests. Federico's a good man. Go upstairs, he'll take good care of you…"
When she got upstairs, Federico had already taken off his pants and his hairy legs were in full view.
Again, Sophia ran downstairs to her mother and cried out, "Mama, Mama, Federico took off his pants and he's got big hairy legs!"
"Don't worry so much, Sophia,” her mother said again.. "All good men have hairy legs. Federico's a good man. Go upstairs, he'll take good care of you…"
When she got upstairs, Federico had already taken off his socks, and much to her surprise he was missing three toes on his left foot.
When Sophia saw this, she ran downstairs and cried out, "Mama, Mama, Federico's got a foot and a half!"
Her mother put down the wooden spoon and said,
"Stay here and stir the pasta sauce, Sophia, this is a job for Mama…"
