Miscellaneous funny, nice, happy, uplifting stuff.
- Thread starter HSanders
- Start date
HSanders
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HSanders
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A little old lady decides to join The Hell's Angels so one day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She boldly proclaims, "I want to join your club."The guy is amused, and decides to humor her a bit, so he says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks "Do you have a motorcycle?" The little old lady replies, Yep... my bike's parked over there," and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.The biker asks, "Do you drink?" The little old lady replies, "Yep, like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."The biker then asks, "Do you smoke?" The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."The biker is very impressed and asks, "You sound like one bad Mama. Tell me, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times and I kinda liked it."
HSanders
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TUSCALOOSA, Ala. — Ruh-roh. Police in Alabama may have to call out The Mystery Machine to get on the trail of Scooby Doo.
The Tuscaloosa Police Department took to Facebook, looking for the public’s help in finding Scooby Doo.
Well a guy dressed in a Scooby Doo costume and green ski mask, similar to the color of Shaggy’s shirt who they said broke into a convenience store and took cash and coins. The alleged thief, however, didn’t take any Scooby Snacks, or any snacks for that matter, police said.
The police department posted a comment which read, “We’ve questioned the owners of the vehicle, but no solid leads yet. Continue to be on the lookout for shady caretakers and don’t meddle if you see the suspect.”
=AZXJoCiaq7UfrSbz66dxB8cWFTojQQSSfvtOZdnqjIacNBTYONUZVBG1_crjwua06ofzQ4mrlGjT1Hk8-EPgU1NsUFB3DQavt8vohPeMAvSU21hB1xZZTQ3Su-HT4Jh1-2r6gmcc753kWKC28I-BuNgb4EuQp7TyW04aBqMDdrPmeQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R]View: https://www.facebook.com/TuscaloosaPoliceDepartment/posts/pfbid0K8JBvZsUaupMfPerPrrYwxusg8bow4FrUa5HH4fb76cA7BaQ4t77cFQHp6bWnS8pl?__cft__[0]=AZXJoCiaq7UfrSbz66dxB8cWFTojQQSSfvtOZdnqjIacNBTYONUZVBG1_crjwua06ofzQ4mrlGjT1Hk8-EPgU1NsUFB3DQavt8vohPeMAvSU21hB1xZZTQ3Su-HT4Jh1-2r6gmcc753kWKC28I-BuNgb4EuQp7TyW04aBqMDdrPmeQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R
The vehicle in question was a van that looked like The Mystery Machine.
Another comment from a Facebook user said, “It actually wasn’t Scooby, it was old man Smithers disguised as Scooby Doo. And he would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.”
Another person asked if they had interviewed Fred, Daphne, Velma and Shaggy yet.
The Tuscaloosa Police Department took to Facebook, looking for the public’s help in finding Scooby Doo.
Well a guy dressed in a Scooby Doo costume and green ski mask, similar to the color of Shaggy’s shirt who they said broke into a convenience store and took cash and coins. The alleged thief, however, didn’t take any Scooby Snacks, or any snacks for that matter, police said.
The police department posted a comment which read, “We’ve questioned the owners of the vehicle, but no solid leads yet. Continue to be on the lookout for shady caretakers and don’t meddle if you see the suspect.”
=AZXJoCiaq7UfrSbz66dxB8cWFTojQQSSfvtOZdnqjIacNBTYONUZVBG1_crjwua06ofzQ4mrlGjT1Hk8-EPgU1NsUFB3DQavt8vohPeMAvSU21hB1xZZTQ3Su-HT4Jh1-2r6gmcc753kWKC28I-BuNgb4EuQp7TyW04aBqMDdrPmeQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R]View: https://www.facebook.com/TuscaloosaPoliceDepartment/posts/pfbid0K8JBvZsUaupMfPerPrrYwxusg8bow4FrUa5HH4fb76cA7BaQ4t77cFQHp6bWnS8pl?__cft__[0]=AZXJoCiaq7UfrSbz66dxB8cWFTojQQSSfvtOZdnqjIacNBTYONUZVBG1_crjwua06ofzQ4mrlGjT1Hk8-EPgU1NsUFB3DQavt8vohPeMAvSU21hB1xZZTQ3Su-HT4Jh1-2r6gmcc753kWKC28I-BuNgb4EuQp7TyW04aBqMDdrPmeQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R
The vehicle in question was a van that looked like The Mystery Machine.
Another comment from a Facebook user said, “It actually wasn’t Scooby, it was old man Smithers disguised as Scooby Doo. And he would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.”
Another person asked if they had interviewed Fred, Daphne, Velma and Shaggy yet.
Lord Chevy
I'm home
Maybe the Harlem Globetrotters can help solve this one.
HSanders
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HSanders
Well-known member
HSanders
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HSanders
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Where do I sign up?
Lord Chevy
I'm home
If I had the money I'd start a senior living facility with cocktails and cigars available 24x7. Fuck it - it's your last few years, the time for the docs to tell you "X and Y are bad for you" is over. Screw the cholesterol counting and low-fat shit. If I have 5 years left at best, or two doing whatever I please ... Give me the two!
