Meme Dump
- Thread starter Kontradiction
- Start date
A woman is walking through the park when she notices a very attractive man sitting on a bench. He’s reading a book and eating fruit from a Tupperware container. After a moment, she gathers the courage to approach him.
She walks over, sits beside him, and says,
“Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward, but I’d love to grab coffee with you sometime.”
Flattered, the man replies,
“Sure… but what makes you so certain we’d get along so well?”
“Well…” the woman says, “a couple of things, actually. I noticed you’re wearing a Metallica T-shirt—they’re my favorite band of all time. When they went on their …And Justice for All tour, my parents took me to see them in Chicago. I was 12 years old, and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Metallica.”
The man is stunned.
“I saw them in Chicago too! It was the first concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Mike and I told our parents we were sleeping at each other’s houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city, and saw them at the World Music Theater!”
They both laugh, amazed.
“And if that’s not weird enough,” she continues, “I noticed you’re reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in college, and I wrote my thesis on how Twain used satire to comment on current events—kind of like modern satirical news. He’s my favorite author.”
Now the man is truly taken aback.
“No way! I was an English major—I specialized in 19th-century American literature. This is probably my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer. I love Mark Twain.”
At this point, they’re both in disbelief.
“Okay,” the woman says, smiling. “Here’s the icing on the cake. I noticed you’re eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather had a farm with an orchard—mostly apples and lemons—but he kept a few plum trees just for my sister and me. Every year, we’d help harvest them, and he’d dry them. By Thanksgiving, he’d have prunes saved just for us. I love prunes—you’re eating one—this has to be fate. What do you say?”
The man sets down his fruit, smiles, and replies,
“It’s a date!”
She walks over, sits beside him, and says,
“Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward, but I’d love to grab coffee with you sometime.”
Flattered, the man replies,
“Sure… but what makes you so certain we’d get along so well?”
“Well…” the woman says, “a couple of things, actually. I noticed you’re wearing a Metallica T-shirt—they’re my favorite band of all time. When they went on their …And Justice for All tour, my parents took me to see them in Chicago. I was 12 years old, and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Metallica.”
The man is stunned.
“I saw them in Chicago too! It was the first concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Mike and I told our parents we were sleeping at each other’s houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city, and saw them at the World Music Theater!”
They both laugh, amazed.
“And if that’s not weird enough,” she continues, “I noticed you’re reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in college, and I wrote my thesis on how Twain used satire to comment on current events—kind of like modern satirical news. He’s my favorite author.”
Now the man is truly taken aback.
“No way! I was an English major—I specialized in 19th-century American literature. This is probably my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer. I love Mark Twain.”
At this point, they’re both in disbelief.
“Okay,” the woman says, smiling. “Here’s the icing on the cake. I noticed you’re eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather had a farm with an orchard—mostly apples and lemons—but he kept a few plum trees just for my sister and me. Every year, we’d help harvest them, and he’d dry them. By Thanksgiving, he’d have prunes saved just for us. I love prunes—you’re eating one—this has to be fate. What do you say?”
The man sets down his fruit, smiles, and replies,
“It’s a date!”
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest when the Big, Bad Wolf jumped out and said "I'm going to kill you Little Red Riding Hood". Then she said "Oh no you're not. You're going to eat me like the book says".
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